(Source: dirtyjonasconfessions)

makeshipsnotwar:

letterstogodptiii:

tea-books-and-blankets:

yaygocats:

discomplete:

“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography

“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.

“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy 

“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book

“I love shorts! They’re comfy and easy to wear!” a spin-off by Youngster Joey

allswellthatends:

“I poured everything I had into you, and you were still empty.” by Iviva Olenick

yuppadupp:

thewholockgames:

districteverthorne:

what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too

calm down satan

Time to play a new game:
Make sure John Green doesn’t find the thing

assiest:

life is full of little surprises, for example:

‘dog food lid’ when read backwards is ‘dildo of god’

truly amazing

cokeflow:

my sense of humor is almost as dry as my love life

snapchatting:

you are under arrest for being attractive and ruining my life

ealsopart:

AHHH HELP IT’S TOO CUTE TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH KOFFING

lulz-time:

2minutedrill:

Second graders learn grammar by correcting tweets from NFL players. 

artsycrapfromsai:

is it me or does it look kinda like some weird personification of autumn

or maybe a combo between autumn and dia de los muertos

frapple:

I DID THE THING

genocidertogami:

sings along to anime opening in vaguely japanese sounding gibberish

(Source: magehenry)

cosrnos:

if I’m in the middle of a sentence and you decide to start talking over me:

• fuck you